Thursday, November 10, 2011

Who the hell is Spencer Dale anyway?

If you are reading this, then chances are that you have an email account. I mean who doesn't these days?

Having an email account then, also means that you have to defend yourself against the constant barrage of dodgy emails, being sent from apparently credible and legitimate sounding humans, who magically offer you large sums of hard cash!
Wow! Easy money!

Umm... no. It's not really that easy to make money now is it.

So when a techie like myself sees these dodgy emails arriving in my inbox, I generally just delete them without even giving it a second thought.
If however, I feel like a bit of light comic relief, I sometimes choose to open up these emails to find out a bit more... :)
Provided, that is, that I am 100% sure that there is no security threat attached to the email (a virus, worm etc.).

Reading through some of the drivel that these hopeless beings conjur up, I often pick up interesting sounding names in the copy.
Take these gems for example - surely nobody would hesitate to accept $5.5 Trillion from humans with such aristocratic sounding names?:

- Mr Spencer Dale (who in real life, actually happens to be Executive Director and Chief Economist of the Bank of England)
- Mr Cargill John
- Mr Charles Mills
- Dr Edward Fox
- Dr John Patrick
- Mrs Mercy Martins
- Dr Alex Cole
- Mr David Terry

Ok I'm bored. That's enough... but you get the point. The idea is to try and rope some unsuspecting individual in, who may actually buy this nonsense.
I mean does anybody fall for this anymore? 

It's kinda funny when you think about the amount of effort these scammers go to, merely to create pure trash, but then again it's damn annoying when they don't stop sending you the same junk over and over and over again.

So if you are an email scammer reading this (if you can actually read, that is), then here's a tip:- why not offer an opt-out service to those of us who just 'aint buying what you are selling (and we all know just what a great selling job you are doing ;)
Maybe in the next scam mailer that you send out, just put a little "Unsubscribe" hyperlink at the bottom of your mail somewhere.
That way you can stop wasting our time and yours, and focus on people who may actually think that your higher grade command of English, gargantuan IQ scores, and your truly remarkable sales pitch, are anything more than dog turd.

I am now watching my Inbox eagery, to see if email scammers out there actually take my good advice and implement this genuinely great and wonderful idea, which will go a long way to saving us all a few grey hairs.
This way, scammers get to keep doing what they love so dearly (i.e. scamming), and us honest, hard working, upright members of society get less junk mail.

It's a win-win for everybody.

 

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